Diet.

A couple years ago, the perfect storm of weight gain happened to me.  I went from being on my feet working on a ranch 40 hours a week to waiting tables at a very slow Italian restaurant and simultaneously went on birth control and started dating a guy with the metabolism and eating habits of a 12 year old.  Anyway, excuses aside, 30 pounds happened to me.  And apparently wishing off the weight is not as effective as one might imagine.
Over the winter I went through a brief phase of running and exercising, and saw some results, and then some other health nonsense kept me out of the gym.
All of that aside, today is day one of my diet and exercise plan.
On a friend's recommendation, I downloaded the Lose It app to my iPhone, I signed up for a 5K in June and the Beach Dash on Montrose Harbor in July.  I am doing it!

While I have no intention of dedicating this blog to what promises to be a slow and boring path back to being thin-ish, I would like to talk about my first days.

Last night I made two lunches-worth of chicken and brown rice and an apple.  I also hard boiled some eggs, and proceeded to leave them on the counter over night.  So those will get thrown out today and I shall start over with that situation.

It is currently 2:50 in the afternoon, and a couple hours after my sensible lunch of a palm-sized pieced of pan-sauteed chicken and about a half a cup of brown rice and a small green apple, I really have to tell you that I am slowly but surely starving to death at my desk.  I keep slugging down water in hopes that my stomach will be fooled, but alas it is too smart for me!  I just keep peeing!

Also I eat at the absurdly early hour of 11:00 due to the need to keep enough people covering the phones, and so I feel like there is positively no way I will make it to 5:00 without death giving me its cold kiss.

I feel like somewhere, I have read at some point [citation needed] that hunger is fat being burned.  I have also heard that you should never feel hungry because that is your metabolism slowing down.  I do not know which is correct, but if fat being burned is supposed to make me feel sad, then this surely must be it.

And I am supposed to go running tonight.  This is bullshit.  I feel like my body is going to reject this whole process and try to fool me into believing that I am actually happy being chubby.  I must stay strong.

Well That Was Embarrassing...

Well... Well it's been 2 years since my initial blog post, and ironically that post promised that it would not be my last post.  I guess as of now it wasn't a lie.
 A lot has happened to me and nothing much as well.

I am currently an "Inbound Ad Sales Rep" with a large local Chicago-based newspaper, but I still mostly surf the web and read and listen to podcasts.  I also take phone calls from people who are trying to place classified ads in the newspaper.  So mostly old people.
I make $12 an hour, which is not enough to make ends meet.  Which is fine.  I have been broke for about 2 years straight, and somehow am still surprised when every week I check my bank account and I have $30 to last the next week after paying bills and rent and bills and bills and grocery shopping.

I have a very sweet boyfriend with whom I live in Uptown.  He makes just slightly more than I do, but works mostly nights, which is tough.  We are wonderful examples of people who can't seem to live up to our potential (especially according to my parents).  The economy and job market are two things that make me want to sit down and cry.
I recently read this article:
1 in 2 new graduates are jobless or underemployed

Yup.  That's the world I live in.  I graduated college with a fancy liberal arts degree and now I will never ever have a well paying job.  I cannot dwell on this too much or my little brain will explode.  All I know is that I am becoming one of those petty people who listens to Mitt Romney talk about his "couple-a cars" and I want to smash my hand-me-down tube tv.  I can't help it.  I am not mad at him for being successful...I am furious because I don't think I will ever be given a shot to become successful.  Ever.  And that he doesn't pay enough in taxes.

Let me try to describe my 18 year-old-self's vision of what 26 is like vs the reality:
Married/thinking about marriage (ok...close there.  Not that anyone can afford a wedding or anything)
Living in a nice apartment downtown (Nice apartment...kind of dangerous neighborhood.  I make the sacrifice because I needed granite countertops)
Making a decent living...say 50K? (Try halfing that, bub)
Have a job that is mentally stimulating (....no.  most stimulating part of my day is reading Friendly Atheist or steaming Morning Joe on MSNBC.  Or figuring out the appropriate abbreviation for "overnight" so someone can fit into a smaller ad template.  Or this game)
Keep in decent shape, maybe take a few dance classes here and there (Shut up, 18 year old me.  I hate you)
Have some stimulating hobbies- hopefully keeping up with horseback riding (I might take a part time job shoveling shit at a stable near by for minimum wage.  Is that what you mean, you 18 year old know-nothing bitch?)
Possess an adult, fashionable-but-not-too-high-fashion wardrobe (I do own 8 different colored target $8 V neck Ts.  Check and mate)

So that's that.  Like 24 year old me who wrote the last entry, I haven't decided what this is going to be.  Something between an atheist, feminist, budget, weight-loss thing.  Or something else.

We shall see.